First of all, get your mind out of the gutter because it’s not what you think! I’ll explain, but first a mama has to talk about her new baby…
My goal is to try to write a blog post ONCE per month and I’m finding it harder to do with each passing month!
Why? Baby girl biz-ness is growing and getting bigger and isn’t waiting for mama to catch up. That’s fine, baby girl. I got some good folks to help me take care of you. The lights are still on and we continue to have growth, so I think we good!
Ok, so I’ll share a little about my bottom. First of all, your bottom doesn’t look like anyone else’s. That’s because we all have our own unique human experience. To be clear, I’m talking about ROCK bottoms.
Pretty sure I’ve hit a few rock bottoms over the course of my lifetime. Haven’t you? Like seriously, if you have ANY experience as a human, you hopefully have some awareness that time is fleeting and things can change in a split second.
Rock bottom moments for me look like me asking myself, “WHAT am I doing and HOW did I get here?”. Painful life experiences don’t ask permission or wait for an invite. They are going to impact your thoughts, feelings and emotions whether you want them to or not. You just never know what’s gonna happen, right? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a safety net? Kinda like a savings account?
Things can change in an instant and what was, is no more and what will be, is foreign. The whole “this too shall pass” works not only for the bad times… It works regarding the good times too. So how does one navigate the highs and lows of being a human that continues to engage with the outside world?
Well, first of all, THAT is THE reason I go to therapy. I’ve been going consistently for a good 4 years-ish. I have an excellent psychologist that knows the shame that I don’t want anyone else to know. She knows the things I’ve done and said and feelings I’m not proud of. She’s one of my biggest cheerleaders AND she calls me out on my bullS#!t. She knows what’s up with my life so when something crazy goes down, I don’t have to catch her up. She’s on it.
Now, I want to be clear that I’m not fostering dependence on her ability to fix and regulate me. That’s truly my job. I simply appreciate someone else who can offer me a neutral opinion or different way of seeing things. This usually results in allowing me to have more clarity and discernment in my life. I also appreciate someone who helps me be present with the emotions that I avoid and validates things I’m too afraid to say to anyone else out loud.
I can sit with clients all day and validate their stuff but my own??? Sometimes, but not always.
First of all, I’m so dang biased, I think that EVERYONE should go to therapy because… Being human is hard.
Since I already have a regimen of going to therapy, practicing yoga, going to acupuncture, etc…, when I hit a low, it has to be super low for me to become overly dysregulated. That is what I mean by my rock bottom not looking like yours. I’ve spent 8 years of formal education, thousands of hours of clinical work and my own therapy; however, I continue to have some days where I feel rage, anger, bitterness, resentment, shattered, unloved, worthless, lonely, embarrassed, foolish, jealous and hopeless to name a few.
Mindfulness will tell you not to judge emotions but I will tell you there are some more comfortable sitting with than others! SHOCKED that a therapist could feel this way? Well, I certainly hope not, cause I’m just a human like everyone else and LIFE can act like an @$$ to me too!
Perfect example of how I’ve raised my rock bottom.
Therapy does not equal learning to be happy. I think it teaches contentment.
Contentment does not equal happiness. I feel like it’s learning to be okay with what IS. Furthermore, it’s like walking the “middle path” which means no high highs and no low lows. Just chilling. I’ve been around waaaaaaay too much drama, and created a lot of drama on my very own. I’ve spent too many years trying to counteract and get away from those behaviors and am extremely uncomfortable unless I’m chill.
I had a rock bottom moment pay a visit last month. I’m so glad I am proactive with my mental, emotional and physical SELF that my low wasn’t as low as it would have been had I not been taking good care of myself by going to therapy, practicing yoga, etc…
BTW, my acupuncturist prescribed cussing, or activities to let my anger go through me. I beat the $#!t out of some chicken last night making chicken parm for dinner. It felt good. Work through that pain. Feel those emotions. Be present.
The moral of the story hopefully is prevention! You don’t have to have a rock bottom moment to come to therapy but most people wait until things are SERIOUS. No need loves. You don’t even need a pathology to come see me. Whether you think you have legitimate “problems” or not, you are a human, and it’s hard.
Give us a call to set up a free 20 minute in person or phone consultation!
Casey Baine, MA, LCAS, LPCA, NCC, RYT
Clinical Director, Mental Health & Substance Use Disorder Therapist, & Yoga Teacher
firstname.lastname@example.org // 919-880-4078
6330 Falls of Neuse Road Suite #104 Raleigh, NC 27615